(written November 30, 2009)
Ever since the first summer ministry trip I went on in 2007, I've really been into the summer camp scene.
Ever since the summer before sixth grade, Lake Ann has had a HUGE impact on my life.
Coincidence? Possibly
But, last summer I really wanted to work at a summer camp.. I was considering one in New York, and Lake Ann, but then I figured it was my summer before college started and I'd be too busy to commit to anything,.. so I didn't. I went through the rush of moving everything to this side of the state, which took numerous trip, and settling in and finding a job and all that fun stuff. But I still had this really strong feeling, or pull maybe, and Lake Ann was always in the back of my mind. Reckon, I hadn't been there since the summer before my sophomore year in high school, so maybe I just missed it an awful lot.
I went to Lake Ann for five summers in a row. First there was Juniors, then two years of Junior High, then Fresh Start, and then Senior High. Each year my counselor played a huge role in my camp experience. They were always there to encourage, offer a little tough love, and sometimes bring up things that I didn't agree with.. just so I'd learn to deal. They always seemed so much older, but they were all college kids. I then learned that you only have to be entering your sophomore year in college to apply to be a counselor. So, my mind worked wonders, and convinced me I knew what my summer plans were for next year.
For a while I thought God had other plans
Over here, theres another camp. The more I looked into it, the more I liked it. And the more I liked it, the more I started to weigh the options of that camp and Lake Ann. Wanting to do what God wanted, I prayed. A lot. Lake Ann was further away.. but I'd never been to this camp, and to be honest, when I looked into it further and started talking to people,it didn't quite seem like it was a good fit for me. So, back to Lake Ann's website I went. Reminiscing. Reaching back into the files of my memory and remembering the time.........when I wore a ball cap around camp for the whole week, when Kim and I had sugar highs and almost knocked ourselves out trying to jump onto the bunks and hitting our heads, when I looked out over Pyramid Point and knew God was right there in the quiet with me, when I found new friends in a new freedom and figured out that I can be social..... when I found God .......
Off subject for a minute, when I say 'wanting to do what God wanted'.. what comes to mind? I know I say that a lot. Its true - I want to do what God wants for me, the plans He has for me. But, in a conversation I recently had, one of my best friends brought up a great point. I don't know what those plans are.. and when I pray and don't get answers, I tend to stay put for a long time. He asked me why not just jump in? If God hasn't answered me, maybe He wants me to take a few steps on my own. Besides, He always isn't going to answer, and love gives us choices. This person told me that He gives us choices - so when we take steps on our own, He'll go with that and prepare the way for the next steps we make also. Interesting.. so, maybe I'm supposed to make my own decision on this one?
I think it was made for me earlier though. Looking through their website I found a new retreat that I hadn't been to yet. I looked into it, and I'm now registered to go. I was looking through pictures and videos on the website and felt the all too familiar tug on the strings on my heart again. As if God is saying, "hello! what are you thinking? you want to be here.. what are you waiting for?"
So, after all that, I'm pretty sure I know where God wants me. And if those signs were just in my imagination, then I'm taking those steps to see if a door opens for me to follow through with them. I was told I couldn't get an application to work there until 2010, and the retreat will put me there on January 1 and 2.. so we'll see what happens. I think its time for me to be there in case some kid struggling with things like I was needs some encouragement, or maybe just someone to help them. After the impact Lake Ann made in my life.. I think its one of the least things I can do. I want to be there, I love it there, and its a safe haven for young kids.. game on.
Please pray
If I seem like some teen searching for something, I am. God's heart. That won't ever change.
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