In me, oh Lord, can You create: a pure heart, cause I'm afraid: that I just might run back to the things I hate


Monday, January 25, 2010

Jeremiah 29:11-13

 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans of peace, and not of evil. To give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me, and will go and pray to me. And I will answer you. And you will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart."

Crazy how these verses keep coming up in my blog, but I think they're important. For me, they're huge. I struggle so much with God's will for my life and whats going to happen. Right now its about school, summer, relationships... just life in general. I haven't a clue whats going on, and sometimes that feeling drives me nuts. Sometimes I wonder if I'm making things too complicated though..   If God knows the plans He has for me, says He'll answer me, and will find Him, whats my issue? The part about searching for Him with all my heart. I think as Christians we sometimes get into this mindset that 'we love Jesus, Jesus loves us, we're good', and I know I often do. I want to search with all my heart but it just seems like life gets in the way. Stuff comes up, and I find myself wondering why I'm not finding God and then seem to answer myself instantly with 'ALL your heart..'. Stuff: strange relationships, friends, work, school, social stuff... and the list goes on.

The other crazy thing is that I'm not sure if in all of this I'm searching for God or something else..  Some days are hard. I'll have one thing on my mind all day, knowing its ridiculous, and then the next be focused on God. Its hit or miss really.

I don't know why I'm writing this.. I hope it makes sense. I'm tired, have a religion paper to write, and its almost 1:40... fantastic. Guess I had a fever and had to write, maybe someone will get what I mean. Sometimes I don't write the full meaning of things down.. I guess tonight was one of those times. I don't even know if I know the full meaning of whats going on in my head right now. We'll see what happens. Now about that religion paper..

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