Just Average

"God doesn't always use the best, but He'll use those who are willing"
"God has created you uniquely; there is no one else exactly like you"
"God will and can use you for big things"

We've heard those sayings, and others I'm sure, countless times, but how often do we really think about them? Probably not as often as we feel like we are 'just average.' For years I've struggled with so many thoughts of inadequateness or being 'too average.' Thoughts like,

"I'm the only one in my house that goes to church and home is like a battlefield.. how am I supposed to live out my faith? It's impossible to look like Jesus in an environment like that. And when I try, I get called a hypocrite. Maybe I'm not called for that, maybe I'm just average."
"I love softball, I've been playing practically my whole life, but I'm 'just ok at best,' and will probably never be able to use it."
"I screw up constantly, and my mouth gets me in trouble. Lots of trouble. How can I be part of a seemingly perfect family who has always been involved in church and even has missionaries in it? I can never live up to that standard.. I'm just average"
"I feel like I've never excelled at any job I've ever had. How am I supposed to be good at what I do if I can't get the hang of it? People will think I'm lazy.. how will Jesus get the glory then?"
"I want to serve Jesus and I love people, but its hard for me to talk to them.. I'm too shy! How can God use me if I can't even go talk to people? I can't even go up to the high schoolers or kids we minister to.."
"How can I sing on stage if my voice is 'just ok?' There are people with better voices than me.. why can't they just do it.. they're perfect anyway, and I'm not."
"How will my child see Jesus in me in his early years if I can't even be patient with him? After all, Jesus is so patient with me, and He knows I screw up all the time. My son doesn't even know why I'm frustrated.."
"I'm just too messy of a person.. I never kept my room clean growing up, how in the world am I supposed to keep a whole house clean? Let alone entertain people? Isn't that one of the reasons we bought a bigger house in the first place? How can I love Jesus and my family and show hospitality if I can't even keep a house clean.. I'm a stay at home mom.. isn't that my job? My house doesn't even look clean when I clean it.."
"How can God use me in this situation where we've already been waiting on Him for over five years and we haven't gotten an answer to prayer? I feel like giving up. I'm at my wits end. But I desperately want to serve Him through even this.. even though I feel like I can't take it anymore."

Guys, this is real stuff. I imagine some of you may have had some similar thoughts, and many different ones depending on your own lives. But here's the thing: my struggles are my struggles, because I'm me. Remember the quote at the beginning about uniqueness? Yeah, God shushed some of the inadequate thoughts with that quote. He also reminded me that many of those doubts are from the enemy. (He's ridiculously relentless. It's so annoying..). The thing is, God really has created us to be what He wanted. And for some of us, that is 'just average.' We don't feel like we excel at things, or can do things right, etc. But we are right where He wants us to be. You see, when we are just average and ordinary, we actually still have an incredible platform. Want to know how? In our average-ness, we can still do everything for God and His glory, and when we place it in His hands, He can multiply it. Great things can come from small acts of obedience and service when done for Jesus. There isn't anything average about that! Kay Warren said it wonderfully this morning in a devotional post on the Proverbs 31 Ministries website. She wrote,

Driving in my car one day, I turned on a Christian radio station to distract myself from the deep sadness, dissatisfaction and disappointment I felt about myself. I was seeking a message of hope or a song that would encourage me, and an old gospel song, Ordinary People, was playing. The lyrics said that God chooses and uses ordinary people — those who are willing to give Him their all. The song continued with “little becomes much when you place it in the Master’s hands.”
That moment radically altered my perception of who God was and who He had made me to be. I sobbed with relief and gratitude; my long search for identity and purpose had found an answer. It was God who had chosen me to be an average, ordinary woman. He could have made me prettier, smarter, more talented, more popular or more gifted, but He didn’t. Instead, His intention was for me to bring Him glory by giving Him my little — my averageness, my ordinariness — and then allowing Him to multiply it in ways far beyond what I had ever dreamed of.
My pursuit of being “special” was shelved. My earnest quest to be the best at something was put aside. My focus shifted to accepting and enjoying who God made me to be: an average, ordinary woman who was willing to give her all to the One whose hands lovingly formed and shaped her.
I began to entrust myself — who I am and who I’m not — to God. If He opened doors of opportunity, I would walk through them. If He didn’t, then so be it. What mattered then and what matters now, is that in all things, I am His to do with as He pleases.
I had some relearning to do; I had to adjust my perception of myself. Instead of seeing myself as inadequate or incapable — too shy, too much of an introvert, not smart enough, not gifted enough — I began to believe and apply the truth of Philippians 4:13, “I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses His strength into me.” Anything. Anything. In my strength? No! Only in His strength poured in me.

Over the past few months, I've been letting God's truth about this sink in. It's actually pretty timely that I read this devotional this morning. As much as I tried to not entertain doubts the enemy was feeding me, this morning I was struggling with many things.. having patience with a sweet toddler who is needy because he just doesn't feel good, not being able to keep the house clean, that situation we've been facing for over five years seems to be looming over me, and getting ready to practice my songs for this Sunday's worship set list, even though my vocals are 'just ordinary.' My "just ordinary-ness" in all of those situations can be pretty daunting. The truth about my morning? My "just average" patience was stretched, but I kept my cool pretty well with my sweet little man and we snuggled all morning - even though I have SO much to do. I told myself that the dishes will still be there later, my son is more important, my husband understands, and the Lord would be more pleased for me take care of a little one who is sick than to clean up the dishes and counters. After all, this moment when I am able to comfort him and push the other stuff away, will be gone soon, and it means the world to him when he comes up to me with tears in his eyes for a hug and says, "tome on mama, sit down pease, bankie.." and takes my hand and we go sit on the couch. I chose that moment instead of a moment of "mama has to do _____" where he would be sent off with tears or cling to my leg, as my heart broke and I would instantly regret choosing housework over him. My "just average" faith knows that the situation going on for over five years will pass, we will have grown, and God will have an incredible outcome for us. Is that hard? Immensely. My "just average" voice will praise God with those worship songs, and as I learned a few weeks ago after the worship set, the Spirit will move regardless of how good or average my voice is. I just need to be willing to let God use me in that way. The more I choose to let it penetrate my heart, the more I realize that I like being "just average." Ordinary never seemed so good!

"It was God who had chosen me to be an average, ordinary woman. He could have made me prettier, smarter, more talented, more popular or more gifted, but He didn’t. Instead, His intention was for me to bring Him glory by giving Him my little — my averageness, my ordinariness — and then allowing Him to multiply it in ways far beyond what I had ever dreamed of." 

My toddler saw his ordinary mom, who can't seem to keep a house clean, choose him instead of the housework today. I chose ordinary obedience in serving God while waiting for answered prayer. And I choose to use my ordinary voice to worship God, knowing He loves my voice just how He fashioned it. I may not ever see the outcome of these things be multiplied, but I gave them to God. I gave Him my averageness. Sweet friend, if you feel average, will you give Him your averageness too? Will you allow Him to use it and multiply it in ways far beyond what you had ever dreamed of?


Check out the rest of Kay's devotion on Proverbs 31 Ministries website..  http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/

And We're Back!

Well friends.. it has been a while; over a year. I've been thinking about posting often lately, and then my husband recently told me he checks this often to see if I've posted because he misses reading it, so I decided it was finally time. The page got refresher too. So I guess we'll see where it goes from here.

I don't even know where to start anymore. My brain hasn't been in writing mode as much as "get-through-the-day" mode. It turns out that when people told me chasing a toddler was exhausting, they were right. He's currently leaning on the back of the computer screen closing it from the weight of his head leaning on it.. and leaning on me and pushing me sideways in an attempt to get comfortable. Goof. Never a dull moment! All joking aside, he's a great kid. He's sweet, kind, fun and goofy. He loves all things related to trains (we're currently watching Thomas and Friends..) and tools, and is his daddy's mini-me. And he's very excited to be getting promoted to big brother in October!

So let's see... in the last year our little man has been growing like a weed, we've kept busy with all kinds of stuff, gotten involved in our new church, found out we're expecting again, and I've gotten much more involved with MOPS in a different leadership role. It has been a good year. Don't get me wrong, it had its challenges, but that's one of the major reasons it was such a good year. In those challenges, we grew as a family and in our relationship with the Lord in ways we never imagined we would or could. God is so good! Looking back at those hard things we went through has been really cool for us now, and just another testament to how God is working in situations and ways that we have no idea about, even when it seems impossible.

I'm going to call that good for now.. apparently I actually have to think through things before I write now, as I'm drawing a blank on what else the past year has entailed. Must be mom-brain. Dinner is also waiting to be cooked.. and my hungry toddler and husband and little one in me need to eat.. so here I go!