"Go Ahead.."

For the last two months I've been working at the Best Western on the water slide. Its fun; usually. The morning shift is five hours long, and  the evening shift is seven. I work mainly mornings, which is better for me because I have the rest of the day to do things (like sit at a coffee shop and write blog entries..). Anyway, I sit on a chair on the platform on top of the slide and tell visitors when they can go down. If there isn't anyone who wants to use the slide, I do other things like laundry, clean windows, and strip sheets off beds for the house keepers. When there are people on the slide, the extent of my verbal communication is generally two words; "go ahead." While I was sitting there this morning, children were playing down in the pool with their dad, so I had a lot of time to think. This is what I thought: in the past eighteen months, how many times has God told me. "go ahead"..? 

1. My move here. He told me it was ok to uproot myself and move to the other side of the state, not knowing more than one person my age. 

2. When I wondered if it was ok to trust a few certain people, some of whom soon become a few of my best friends. 

3. When I asked Him if it was beneficial to go to a church that I liked, that wasn't a Baptist church, and a bit out of my comfort zone.

4. When I joined a new church that wasn't "organized" and met in someones house. (This was one of the best experiences I've had so far, and where I met some people who helped my world start spinning out of my control, and into God's even more)

5. When I decided to check out a Baptist church in town that a guy had told me about. 

6. When I decided I loved that church, and wanted to stay there.

7. When I prayed about a guy who I had suddenly become very close to, and he asked me to be his girlfriend. 

8. When I was asked to be a youth leader, and go on a mission  trip with that church. 

9. When I asked Him if it was a good idea to quite my job for the one at Best Western, and when I asked if it was ok to quit Best Western for a job at the college I attend. 

I'm sure there are more times, those are just the ones I'm going to write. I included God in my life and was blessed soo much. The past eighteen months I've learned to trust Him SO much more, and I completely love it! My world has turned almost a 180, but I'm not complaining, and I wouldn't go back to what it used to be. I've learned so much, and just love to look back and see what He's done! If you're doubting, I'll tell you this.. when you trust, and include God in your life and decisions, you will be blessed.  

When Your Soul Soars

Ever have that feeling inside where it feels like your soul is flying? Like this incredible feeling of freedom that you can't explain to anyone? What makes you feel that way, or do you ever even experience it?

Listening to Mark Schultz this morning, the song Broken And Beautiful seems to be ringing through my soul. I hear the music start playing, and it registers through my whole inner being. As reaches the chambers of my heart that feel, it lets my soul loose to fly, and I feel free. A deep, inner freedom, that no one can explain.

Except, we can explain it. Throughout the whole song, the title Broken And Beautiful serves a purpose. The song explains how to God, it is so beautiful when we come to Him broken. He loves us, and when we give our lives to Him, we have this blessed freedom that only He gives. I love the thought! He can repair shattered lives, broken hearts, hurtful pasts,... everything, and is waiting for us to come to Him broken. He wants to show us His love.. and wants to put us back together again. He wants us to come to Him. I did. I went to Him with a year of my life that had a lot of hurt, regrets, screw ups, and sorrow... and He made it beautiful. I came running to Him, broken, and He repaired me. He would love to do the same for you... if you'll let Him.

Here are the lyrics and the video.
There’s a businessman - There’s a widowed wife - There’s a smiling face with a shattered life - 
There’s a teenage girl with a choice to make - It’s crowded here in church today

And the preacher says as the sermon ends - Please close your eyes and bow your heads - 
Is there anyone in need of prayer - Jesus wants to meet you here - 
‘cause we all fall short - We all have sinned - But when you let - God’s Grace break in…

(Chorus)
It’s beautiful - Beautiful - Come as you are - Surrender your heart - Broken and beautiful - 

Well he’d never been to church before - But he came today as a last resort - 
His world was crashing in - And he was suffocating in his sin - 

But tears ran down - As hope rushed in - He closed his eyes - Raised his hands - 
Worshiping the God who can - Bring him back to life again - 

(Chorus)

Cause there’s nothing more beautiful to God - Than when his sons and daughters come - Broken

Like Abraham

Last year if you would've told me what my life would be like right now, I would have told you that you were crazy. I had plans, but God had other plans, and I can see them unraveling more and more each day, before my very eyes. 


I have realized that life is so full of color, that if we just stop and look, and smell the flowers, life is more beautiful than we could ever imagine. It is more than what we are going through, more than what we can see, more than what we can feel, and more than we ourselves can handle. But thats why we have God, and I am very thankful to have made that realization. 


When I packed up and moved across state last year, I was hoping to find a life of my own. Without realizing it, I was running from a relationship I was still in. Once here, I saw how much I was growing, and I saw the vibrant beautiful me that God created, that I hadn't seen in a long time. I'd look in the mirror and think, "I remember you..", and thats when I made my decision and broke it off. After that I struggled through a time where I felt depressed and just terrible. I was trying so hard to run to God for everything, to let Him be my everything, and even though it was so hard, it was very rewarding. During that time, I grew tremendously and got a lot of things figured out. I found myself, and wasn't surprised to find that I wasn't as far from God as I had once thought... just scared to go back. I had been fearing God the whole time, ..just not acting on that fear as I should have been. I had been finding comfort in things of this world, when I needed to find comfort in my God. So I set out on a new adventure, just me and Jesus. I didn't know what to expect, I just wanted to love Him with everything. I found a new church, new friends, and a new lifestyle. I'm loving it, to tell you the truth. I feel like I'm completely where He wants me. I became a youth leader at this church, and even went on a mission trip in June. It was very powerful. It made me question some things, and I ran to God for answers. Just like He told me He would in the book of Jeremiah, He answered. It was an awesome trip, and I took a lot from it. 


I went into everything I did blindly, because I have no idea where I'm going, just where I've been. I was counting on God for everything. Just like Abraham, everything I did was 'by faith'. So when I started getting close to this guy at the church, it freaked me out. After my previous relationship, I had prayed that the next guy I dated would be the one I marry. I had a conversation with God, and told Him that as bold a statement as it was, I was done messing around, and I didn't have time to be timid. After the last relationship, I had a serious lack of trust for guys. This one seemed different though. He loved God, loved people, and would do anything he could for you. He had a  servant's heart, gentle hands, and a kind smile. He was honest, hard working, and would listen if you needed to talk. He seemed okay to me.. but I just didn't know. I prayed and prayed, a lot. Then he left for Honduras for eight days. I didn't think much of it, because he loves serving, and loves missions trips. But when I missed texting him, seeing him in town/church, and missed talking to him, I figured something was up. So I went to prayin' again, and talking to God, and just trying to figure it out. I came to the conclusion that it was alright, I didn't have much to worry about and all that stuff. When he came back, we ended up dating. It threw me for a loop, but again, I was going by faith. 


Its pretty crazy. Because today, I wouldn't regret a second of it. When we include God in our life, our thoughts, and our actions, they'll never come up void. He can make something beautiful out of the worst. Last year, if you would've told me this is where I'd be today I really wouldn't have believed you. But when God gets ahold of people, anything can and will happen. A 'by faith' journey is not easy. Hebrews 11 tells us that, and Abraham had so much faith. I want to be like Abraham. I want faith to guide EVERYTHING I do. I want to jump when God says 'jump' and I want to go where He sends me, and I want to do what He wants me to. I've learned that even when our plans seem so great, so right, God has other plans... and HIS plan is what will rule over all. No questions. I tried to avoid God for months, and He brought me right back to Him. He has something great planned for me... and I want the faith to trust Him in that.