Neglect

Do you ever have that feeling of sheer need, but can't figure out what your need is? Well, I've had that feeling for a few months and just recently figured out what it is. I realized that I'd been putting so much time into planning my wedding, being involved and helping with the TWEEN and Youth Groups, PreSchool, and everything else, that I'd neglected the desire to spend time with my Jesus, and neglected spending time in fellowship with people of my own age. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being with children and helping in every part of ministry that I do, but an adult conversation is a much needed thing once in a while. Some of my closest friends here that I share most of these conversations with are a few years older than I am - which has always been the case - and are as busy as I am, so finding the time to sit down and actually talk has been much harder than I would like. Being busy is how my life functions, so naturally I didn't think much of it at first, but it has taken it's toll on me, my mind, my relationships, etc.

Along with neglecting fellowship, I had neglected maintaining open and good communication lines with some of the most important people in my life. In doing that, many things have become confusing and frustrating. Just last night there was a misunderstanding that led to going to bed angry and frustrated and silent. I don't want that, but I don't want to fight people either. Soo all of those things built up, and I just started to have a negative attitude. Not all the time, but it started to come more easily. After realizing all these things, I remembered a quote that my youth pastor repeated often;

   "When you stop reading God's word, you stop thinking like God" 

Not only had I neglected fellowship, but I had neglected spending time with my Jesus in prayer and reading His word. So, just like the quote said, I had stopped having a Godly thought process, which fueled the fires of anger, frustration, confusion, neglect, and maintaining my relationship with Him. Well, I guess I figured out the sheer need..

I write these things because I have experienced that sharing testimonies can be powerful and effective. You may need to read what I have to write, what I have gone through, and what I have to share, without me knowing the reason why. I don't need to know why, I just know that I write what has been put on my heart, even if it means taking a risk, because it has been put there for a reason. As a Christian, I focus on being real, because so many people act like they're OK, like they're happy little people who don't have problems because they know Jesus. That is so wrong. As followers of Christ, we are told there will be trials, hardships, and things that we just flat out don't like. But, we are also told that God will be with us and help us through all of those things, and we will become more like Him in the process. Its OK to have hurts, to be angry, or to have regrets - that is what makes us who we are, and that is why Christ came - because we can have a beautiful freedom from those things. Its not about being 'just OK', its about being real, because putting on a face that nothing is ever wrong is deceiving yourself and others, when they could be helping you through your hard times. Give it up - and let God help you. Those things I wrote in the previous paragraphs.. ? Yeah, thats real stuff, but I can do something, with God's help and with the help of others.

Here's what I - and anyone else - can do:

• Put time and effort in my relationship with Christ - daily
• Not neglect fellowship and seeking help from others
• Try my best to have a positive outlook and attitude
• Keep communication lines open and honest