I know it's been a long time since I've written, but this blog has been brewing for over a week and a half, and I think it's finally time to let you know what's going through my mind.
For the past few months, I've been struggling with some issues that I wasn't quite sure how to deal with. I was getting so frustrated that I would just come home and want to cry. I vented to Caleb almost every night, and every night I would tell him that I didn't want to be frustrated, I didn't want to be angry, I just wanted to handle these situations in a way that would be pleasing to God. After many conversations with a dear friend, conversations that she and her parents had had (we shared many of the same frustrations), conversations with my mom, and even a few with the assistant pastor, I had a thought.. instead of changing those who I was dealing with, why not change myself...
So, I started to be more aware of what God might be wanting to teach me through this. I had been doing consistent devotions, so I just started to focus more, and spend more time alone with my Jesus. Not long into this process, I was looking at pictures from a friend's honeymoon and something caught my eye: on the back of some random guy's shirt.. "(2 Peter 3:18).. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..". I stopped as the thought hit me... grow in grace ...it was like a 2x4 smacking across my head. Hm.. coincidence?... Not a chance. While looking at some other pictures, I noticed a comment someone had posted in response to someone else's frustration; "(1 Cor. 13:4) ..love is patient, love is kind..." I think that many times we only apply verses like that to our spouses or other family, and even though my issues weren't with Caleb or other family, this also hit me like a 2x4. Once again, not a coincidence. ...Maybe the first step in dealing with my frustration and issues was to grow in grace and remember that love is patient and love is kind. Well, I got my answer two days later, and growing in grace, and being patient and kind definitely was a good first step. In dealing with the people and issues first hand, I found that the issues didn't seem as pressing, and the people I was dealing with started to realize why others were getting frustrated. "Wow," I thought, "..grow in grace... love is patient,... love is kind.." This is crazy. But not really.
That Friday I had the privilege to stop by my friends office while I was at work and tell her about this experience. She was excited to see how God was working and we joked about being smacked on the head by 2x4's. Little did I know, I still had another one coming. Saturday morning I was curled up on my couch with my Bible, reading in Matthew 12. I read about how the Pharisees were trying to find anything to accuse Jesus of, and when He addressed them (because He knew what they were trying to do), it was like I got hit with another two by four. "(v. 34b) ...for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." I stopped and stared at the page, and started laughing. "Wooooow," I thought, "..once again, not a coincidence." So, I sent my friend a text message, to which she replied, "lol God is just loving on you this week!" Ha... nooo kidding! So, there's a second step for me.. remembering that my mouth will speak what my heart is full of.
I put all three verses into effect the next day at church and while helping at youth group, and with them running through my head I was able to deal with the things going on in a way that was much more effective than just getting frustrated. I was even able to explain some of the frustrations of the group to someone. I was pretty excited to see God work. The quote about being the change you want to see was affirmed, and I realized that changing myself is sometimes a better option than trying to change others. After all, I got the chance to learn how to grow in grace, really love people, and let my patience level expand.
God is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment