Like Abraham

Last year if you would've told me what my life would be like right now, I would have told you that you were crazy. I had plans, but God had other plans, and I can see them unraveling more and more each day, before my very eyes. 


I have realized that life is so full of color, that if we just stop and look, and smell the flowers, life is more beautiful than we could ever imagine. It is more than what we are going through, more than what we can see, more than what we can feel, and more than we ourselves can handle. But thats why we have God, and I am very thankful to have made that realization. 


When I packed up and moved across state last year, I was hoping to find a life of my own. Without realizing it, I was running from a relationship I was still in. Once here, I saw how much I was growing, and I saw the vibrant beautiful me that God created, that I hadn't seen in a long time. I'd look in the mirror and think, "I remember you..", and thats when I made my decision and broke it off. After that I struggled through a time where I felt depressed and just terrible. I was trying so hard to run to God for everything, to let Him be my everything, and even though it was so hard, it was very rewarding. During that time, I grew tremendously and got a lot of things figured out. I found myself, and wasn't surprised to find that I wasn't as far from God as I had once thought... just scared to go back. I had been fearing God the whole time, ..just not acting on that fear as I should have been. I had been finding comfort in things of this world, when I needed to find comfort in my God. So I set out on a new adventure, just me and Jesus. I didn't know what to expect, I just wanted to love Him with everything. I found a new church, new friends, and a new lifestyle. I'm loving it, to tell you the truth. I feel like I'm completely where He wants me. I became a youth leader at this church, and even went on a mission trip in June. It was very powerful. It made me question some things, and I ran to God for answers. Just like He told me He would in the book of Jeremiah, He answered. It was an awesome trip, and I took a lot from it. 


I went into everything I did blindly, because I have no idea where I'm going, just where I've been. I was counting on God for everything. Just like Abraham, everything I did was 'by faith'. So when I started getting close to this guy at the church, it freaked me out. After my previous relationship, I had prayed that the next guy I dated would be the one I marry. I had a conversation with God, and told Him that as bold a statement as it was, I was done messing around, and I didn't have time to be timid. After the last relationship, I had a serious lack of trust for guys. This one seemed different though. He loved God, loved people, and would do anything he could for you. He had a  servant's heart, gentle hands, and a kind smile. He was honest, hard working, and would listen if you needed to talk. He seemed okay to me.. but I just didn't know. I prayed and prayed, a lot. Then he left for Honduras for eight days. I didn't think much of it, because he loves serving, and loves missions trips. But when I missed texting him, seeing him in town/church, and missed talking to him, I figured something was up. So I went to prayin' again, and talking to God, and just trying to figure it out. I came to the conclusion that it was alright, I didn't have much to worry about and all that stuff. When he came back, we ended up dating. It threw me for a loop, but again, I was going by faith. 


Its pretty crazy. Because today, I wouldn't regret a second of it. When we include God in our life, our thoughts, and our actions, they'll never come up void. He can make something beautiful out of the worst. Last year, if you would've told me this is where I'd be today I really wouldn't have believed you. But when God gets ahold of people, anything can and will happen. A 'by faith' journey is not easy. Hebrews 11 tells us that, and Abraham had so much faith. I want to be like Abraham. I want faith to guide EVERYTHING I do. I want to jump when God says 'jump' and I want to go where He sends me, and I want to do what He wants me to. I've learned that even when our plans seem so great, so right, God has other plans... and HIS plan is what will rule over all. No questions. I tried to avoid God for months, and He brought me right back to Him. He has something great planned for me... and I want the faith to trust Him in that.