Most kids have dreams for when they graduate; go to college, get out on their own, go have a different life, and get away from a lot of things they've known for 18 years. I was one of them. I graduated in May and moved out during the summer. I moved 3 hours west to the other side of the state. Its great here and I love it. People are more laid back, and generally nicer. I got away from what I needed to for the most part, and everything seemed cool. It was such a nice change and I know I really needed it, really needed a fresh start I guess you could say.
My motives for moving out may have been a bit skewed though... I was frustrated with things going on in my church, frustrated with life at home, and frustrated with relationships that I knew weren't pleasing to God. So I basically ran from everything (which isn't the best thing to do with your problems). It took numerous trips back and forth to get everything here and to get myself settled. I still have a lot of stuff left at the old house, which I have no idea what I'm going to do with, but I've lived here for about 7 months now. Overall its been a great seven months and God has truly blessed me.
If you've ever heard the song Wide Open Spaces by the Dixie Chicks, thats kinda how things went, except my parents didn't drive away because I drove myself. Anyway. We always came here as a family one week every summer as a vacation. It was awesome and the whole family loved it. When it came time for me to pick colleges, I had a few picked out, and the one I'm going to wasn't one of them. My grandpa told me I could live here, so I figured it would save lots of money and took him up on the offer. I needed to experience new things and get out on my own, so that was also a pretty cool opportunity sitting right out in the open for me. I've always loved doing new things and meeting new people, and since I've moved over here, I've done both. I've met so many new people its crazy, and I've done more new things that I never thought I'd do in I don't know how long. Its been an awesome seven months =]
Even though its been awesome, everyone has their ups and downs, right? Well, I almost feel like I ought to be done doing new and spontaneous things. As much as I love them, and although people may not notice, new things scare me to death. I found a home church for Wednesdays, but for Sundays I'm between two churches. Both have amazing worship and the pastors love God and are committed to preaching His Word. However, one is more laid back in teaching, yet straight forward, and the other is more of what you'd expect a Sunday sermon to be. The youth at the first one aren't terribly friendly, only a few have talked to me, but the youth at the second are friendly and I've had at least two or three talk to me every time I've went there. The second also has a Sunday School class for college age students. I kept telling myself I needed to find a new church when I got here that was altogether different from the one I used to go to. Well, I did (the first one mentioned), but it just didn't seem to be what I needed. So, all said and done, I'm most likely going to end up at the second one for the majority of Sunday services.
Upon graduating, I had dreams of moving somewhere, going to college, finding prince charming, getting married,..and having a life. I realized that even though that has happened to some people, it doesn't seem like God's plan for me right now. I got here and was so anxious that my head wasn't one straight and I screwed up. It wasn't that bad, but I had worked myself up, and when I realized what I did I felt like an idiot. I realized how much fun I'm having being able to go out with friends and do just whatever without having to answer to someone. I'm not being wild or anything, but things would be different if I wasn't single. Although, when I do get into a relationship I won't mind not doing some of the stuff. My point is to live and have fun without worrying about it... and I realized that after a while and it made so much sense.
Overall, I love it here... but I almost want to be done with new things in a way. These past 7 months have given me so many new things that are swirling around in my head, that they sometimes make me dizzy. I keep saying enough with new things, and I was thinking about moving out west (frivolous, I know, but it would be cool if I could support myself fully), and how neat of a new experience that would be. Its like I love new experiences, but when they get here I have to step back and look at what I got myself into... haha. One new experience that I'm psyched to see if I get to have, is counseling at Lake Ann. This would be altogether new, but I really feel thats where God wants me.. and I know it would be an absolutely awesome experience. We'll see what happens.
Anyway, I don't know if any of this made sense to anyone, but if it did, I'm glad.. Life is crazy, but it is what it is sometimes. Its fun though =] and I'm excited to see what happens.
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