Processing

This past week has been draining, and I'm really in no mood to write. But, I didn't last Friday, so I figured writing today would be a good thing.

Dealing with things at our house not getting done on time is menial, but its been driving me nuts. Thats the least of my worries right now though. My worries focus on our youth students. I've mentioned before that these kids are going through some crazy situations, and that as a leadership staff we've been trying to help them. We know there's only so much you can do, but sometimes that's just not enough. Since the retreat, we've had to make terms and conditions for one of our students to attend any youth activity, and came to the conclusion that another will be going to a different church. Encouraging that decision was not hard; if a student will be better fed and get what they need elsewhere, and believe that God is calling them to that other place, I have no problem supporting them at all. We will miss this student, but look forward to seeing them flourish. Some of the other issues we learn about that the students are dealing with just break your heart. All are important, but some take precedence over others because they include a students(') safety. Very few people in our staff have been trained on how to deal with/handle these situations, and out of the staff who are trained to handle those issues, very few students go to them, and go to different staff instead. These students don't necessarily know which staff is trained, but its a matter of being comfortable talking to whichever staff member they choose to go to. I think something that we need as a staff is to be trained to handle/deal with these kind of issues. We need to know how to help our students effectively, and give them more than a little advice. I would love to see a staff training session (or sessions) take place for our group of staff.

Something else that has been mentioned among a few of us is the seeming lack of committment coming from a few leaders. This could be a miscommunication, these situations generally are, but as staff we need to be on the same page. If someone's committment level is coming whenever they can come that's fine, or if they are all in that's fine, we just need to know, and right now we don't know that for a few of our leaders. That can be frustrating, but it has definitely been a growing process in the fact that we don't know who's coming and what's going to happen, so we can't plan things down to the specifics,.. we've been learning to just let God do what He wants with our time and activities with these students. That has been exhilarating, and we've seen God do some amazing things.

We would love to see our church start the search process for a youth pastor soon. We have been without one for about a year, and since our new senior pastor was just hired, we're eager to get the ball rolling. What's stopping that? The new pastor won't start until the end of March, and the search committee will be waiting to include him in the search process. In my opinion, that is bittersweet. It's exciting to know that the committee wants to include him in the search process, but I think if all three pastors are godly men whose ministry is ran by Christ Himself, and they desire to do His will, the three men will mesh regardless. Granted, we all have our tiffs because we're human, but I don't understand why pastors wouldn't get along. I admit that I'm not a pastor, so I don't know what all they have to do or what goes on when they interact (I'm curious to know though!), but I just see them as being men for a common cause, so it just seems like they should be able to get along. Again, that's just my take though.

So, with everything going on, plus school, it has been draining. I'm trying to rely on God for my strength and to give me the words and actions for working with our students on a daily basis. It's hard. But I've learned that when we are at our weakest point, we are strongest because we are forced to rely on God to meet our needs (2 Corinthians 12:9 - But Jesus said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness). I'm comforted in that, and that is what I'm leaning on very heavily right now as we deal with things and process them in our hearts, minds, and attitudes.

I thank the prayer warriors who lift up our staff and students in prayer. Please continue to do this, we appreciate it more than we could ever express!

Intentional Connections

God's grace continues to amaze me. It's hit me more in the past few weeks than it has in a while, but it has been a very eye opening experience. I'm realizing it more in the little things I've been doing; little things for Caleb, others, the tedious little jobs at the office, etc. Most of all though, I've been realizing it in the realm of ministry involvement.

The Tween ministry kicks off three weeks from tonight with a lock-in filled with crazy games, fun, food, and a chance for us staff to really get to know some of the students. Caleb and I planned the event, and when I talked to the director on Wednesday, she was just as excited as we were about the events getting underway. I can't wait to start! Youth group has also been going well. I forgot what it was like to be in middle/high school until I started to get to know some of our students better. Middle/high school is a crazy time, and as many times as students say adults don't understand them, I'm willing to admit that sometimes I don't even understand their issues. Praise God though, I've been able to answer some hard and deep questions only because I was trusting I would be given the words that the student(s) needed to hear, and I was. Getting to know some of the students and their parents has been fantastic, and it makes me thankful for the youth pastor I had growing up. He made a huge impact on me, whether it was a quick conversation, a question answered, or some tough love when I was out of line; he was honest, and didn't sugarcoat things. I intend to do the same with our students, because life is brutally honest, and nowhere near sugarcoated. These students teach me something everytime I get to lead small group, have a conversation, or am even around them, and I love that. It's so easy to just sit back and help instead of be intentional in your actions around these students. They're only a few simple years from being them same age as I am, but I've learned so much since high school, and being intentional is a way that I hope to relate even better to them. They are amazing, and I hope that each of them feel that way based on how our staff not only treats them, but ministers to them in words. Being able to share in their struggles, concerns, and even them giving us an insight into their worlds and minds is an awesome thing. I love the opportunities to be able to connect with these students.

The AWANA program is another ministry that I'm involved in, and I work with K-2nd grade. These children are more wonderful than I can explain. I've been learning so much from them, and learn more every single week. Seeing their face light up when they pass a section because of saying a Bible verse correctly is one of the coolest things. I'm so lucky for this opportunity to share in their learning, and be able to be there and see them smile, cry, have fun, and sometimes even be frustrated. Every emotion has a purpose, and it's a learning process on how to handle all the different emotions we encounter with these students. At the beginning of the club year we had a few very young students in our group, and verse time was challenging almost to a point of frustration. But, we kept plugging away at each section with these students, and week by week, a little more comfortable each time, they opened up, started talking more, and now even come to club prepared with a section to recite! One of the things I strive to do in my actions is show them that we are ecstatic that they are there. Whether it be a smile, a conversation, or a simple question, I try to let each of them know they matter and we are interested in their lives. I try to be as intentional as I can, even when its frustrating. These students come from all kinds of families, so I think we need to be as intentional as we can in everything we do during the short hour and half we have them each week. That, my friends, is more challenging that I ever would have thought. But I love working with them. Its brightens my day to see them in public, and even more so when they tug at the shirt of who they're with and tell them I'm their friend from club, or I help them at club. Some even run right over to give a hug. That makes it so worth it; to know that I've made such an impact that a student will willingly go out of their way to say hi. We can make a difference in these students' lives.

It has almost been too easy for me to be intentional in relationships with students, and challenging when I think about being intentional in other relationships. The ones that come to mind are mainly with my husband and family. How can I be intentional in my relationships with them to show them God's love and that they matter? We all know ways we can do that, but doing those actions or speaking those words are so much more challenging. We are around these people more, we know their stories, they may have hurt us, etc. And yet we are called to love them like Jesus loves us. We are called to show them the unconditional love of Christ. Easy? Of course not. But learning and growing is part of the amazing process that brings us not only closer to those involved in the relationships, but also Christ. He'll help us, we just have to take those steps. So, in my relationships at home, and around other family, friends, etc., the urge to be intentional will be there, I just have to act on it. Will you act on it too? I hope so.