Wild Weeks (cont.)

  After recovering the rest of the week, the weekend had its fair share of activities also. I went straight from work to the Tween Olympic event. I didn't have much planning in on this one, the ministry director did though, and it was loads of fun! There were apple shot puts, 100m dash with potato sacks, synchronized routines, and a bonfire with all the goodies. It was a good time, and we had quite a few new kids that I didn't recognize. Yay for outreach!

Saturday we took my sister shopping as part of her birthday present. We spend the day out of town shopping, filled our bellies at Red Robin (yummm), and headed home. It was a fun and successful day. She got quite a few things, and I even ended up with new work shoes and a sweater. Sunday was usual, ending with a bonfire at youth group, and the leaders enjoying some fellowship over half priced appetizer at Applebee's.

Then it was Monday again. Do your weekends go by that fast? I wish mine didn't..

This week has just been alright, but I hope its gets even better. I came down with something the other day. It escalated and yesterday my eyes and nose were runny and itchy, I was achy, I had fluid in my ears, and just felt lousy. I came home from work at noon to rest, and didn't even go in today. Last night after Caleb got home, he said he was going to pick out new phones. I knew I shouldn't have, but I had to tag along and pick out my phone. It ended up taking a lot longer than we thought, but we were lucky and were able to take advantage of some major sales, cutting our checkout fees in half! So we retreated home with take out chinese and I stayed home while Caleb went to run the movie in the park. I was bummed I didn't get to go, but I just felt so lousy all I wanted to do was lay on the couch, so that's exactly what I did. I played with my new phone (ok, it was more like trying to figure out how to work it. That phone is too smart for its own good), blew my nose a zillion times, and watched a whole DVD worth of NCIS episodes.

So, here I sit on my couch, bored, in pajamas :) My morning started with green tea, ramen in a cup (because, when you don't feel good and nothing is appetizing, you eat anything that sounds remotely appetizing), and Live With Kelly. I'm starting to feel a little better, but I still have zero energy. Last night Caleb brought me some medicine, and chocolate, so I'm all set for now. At least I'm not as itchy today. It sounds like I'll be missing a jewelry party tonight, but hopefully I'll be feeling up to going out by tomorrow. Caleb's parents bought us tickets to see comedian Yakov Smirnoff tomorrow night, and I was so excited. He'll be about a half hour north of here, and I haven't got to explore that town much, so we were going to make a day out of it. I'll be really bummed if we can't make it.

Yakov Smirnoff

Well, that's all for now :) I'll be back eventually. 

   

Wild Weeks

It has been too long since I've been on here, this might be rather long :)

So much has happened since I was here last. I've had a few more memorable instances down by the marina I told you about in my last post, the one by the coast guard station. The one that pops into my mind is from last Thursday. Before going downtown to watch the free movies in the park that Caleb helps with, I was taking Honey for her walk. We came upon a family who was trying to take pictures with the car ferry behind them as it came in. I offered to take their picture but I don't think they heard me, but strangely no one else would talk to them even though there were about fifteen people there. I stood, just a few feet away, and noticed that what sounded like clear speech from a few feet away was actually half grunting and trying to form words; this family was all partially deaf and could only speak a little bit. So I thought a minute and got the father's attention, enunciated the best I could and held up three fingers as I asked if they'd like me to take a picture of them together. They eagerly agreed with the biggest smiles I've seen from tourists in a while. So I took the picture, stood around for a minute and continued on my way. It shocked me how happy they were, but it brightened my day.

Picture of everyone that my uncle photoshopped

To go back a little bit, a few weeks ago was our family reunion. Contrary to many people, I love family reunions, and attend every chance I get. I may vaguely recognize people, but I don't know who half of the people are :) isn't that how reunions are supposed to go? Thank goodness for name tags. This reunion was special to me. In the last few years I have realized just how precious family is. The reunion is from my great grandma's family, which was very large. However, now there are only four of the sisters left, and they're not doing very well healthwise. It really made me think though, how they are the basis of the reunions. Will these get togethers still carry on when they are no longer with us? I hope so. To see them all together talking, leaned in so they could hear each other, was so precious. They may live far away, but they just pick up where they left off and go from there. When their parents immigrated here from Hungary, they sought a different life, and they built up a family. It's crazy to think that there are only a few of that generation left.. and they live far away from each other. It seems everyone lives far away from each other now. Seeing all the other family is great too. It's usually the one time every two years that I get to see most of them. I was bummed Caleb couldn't go, he would've got a kick out of the "silent" auction, which was exactly the opposite of silent. But it was a fun day regardless, and I got to catch up with quite a few of the cousins. I also got to see my grandparents and a few girls from church. It was good to be in my hometown for a weekend.

As the weekend ended and I drove home with my sister as co-pilot, we talked about our upcoming trip with the youth group to the amusement park, Cedar Point. I hadn't realized we left the very next day, so I tried to gear up and mentally create a packing list. My sister had never been there before, but she had been looking up the roller coasters and watching videos filmed from the first cart, so she was pretty psyched to finally get to go. I was just glad I wasn't one of the people who had to drive the fifteen passenger vans there and back. So as Monday afternoon rolled around, we headed to the church and I got a phone call asking if I would drive one of the vans.. because no one else could. I nervously agreed to do so, and don't regret it. Besides being very tired from the weekend before, I made it through. A lot of prayer, caffeine, and music aided my consciousness though :) We arrived at the church we were staying the night at around 1am, and shortly after crashed for the night. We got up, had breakfast, and headed out to CP, which was only now a mile away. After splitting into groups and heading into the park, the first ride our group decided to go on was the Mantis (right).

Personally, it is one of my favorite rides. My sister had told me that she didn't want to go on some of the really big coasters because she
can't breathe and her stomach hurts, but we learned that she can defy breathing and a stomachache real quickly. She absolutely loved Mantis. The one neither of us felt like going on was the Top Thrill Dragster. It is 420 feet high and accelerates to 120mph in 4seconds. It's crazy. I had been on it before, and didn't think it was all that its cracked up to be. But halfway through the day as we were walking towards its, my sister said, "lets go on Dragster," so on we went.

Normally there's a wait that is a few hours long, but due to rain that morning the park was pretty clear. We were sitting on the cart in ten minutes, ready to go. There were some shaking knees, but as soon as it shoots you forward there is no turning back. So up we went... parallel to the ground, the only thing around us for a split second was the blue sky. Then we peaked, spiraled downward, and before we knew it our ride of less than 20 seconds was over. There was talk of going on Millennium Force next (right), because its the next smallest, and my sister had just been on the largest one, so we did. It was fun. As the afternoon became evening, those of us who were driving met up to talk, and were told to get some rest. I was told to get some sleep on a bench, but refused because a small young girl sleeping on a bench in the middle of a very large amusement park doesn't strike me as a good idea. So we found a grassy spot and I tried to nap while some friends sat around and talked. We headed for home around nine, and again with much prayer, caffeine, and music, made it home around 4am, and crashed for some much needed sleep.

After driving one of the vans with thirteen high schoolers back and forth, I understand why the drivers of the vans when I was in youth group needed quiet, good behavior, etc. I always knew it was good, of course, but I didn't quite realize how nerve racking it actually is to drive a very large vehicle with other lives in your hands. Kudos to all the youth leaders who do that on a regular basis - you deserve some major props for sure!


(to be continued)

Marina Lights

Today started, and almost ended, as an ordinary day. We got up and went to work, came home and had dinner, made a trip to see my parents, sister, and great grandma, and then came back home just in time for a walk before it got too dark.

As different as the two towns are, I find more to love about each every day. Tonight we decided to go for a walk, and I wanted to watch the carferry leave on its nightly journey to Wisconsin. Where our favorite spot to watch it leave is, there's a walk loop. I always make it a little longer that it actually is, but it's all right along the water and absolutely gorgeous. First, I start out in the marina playground, go past the marina, and start the actual loop. It takes you to a narrow path with boulders and a railing on one side and boulders, yard and condos on the other. The water is right next to you on one side, and on it's other side is the end of a peninsula through the harbor. The carferry passes right through there.. and its so close you can see the expressions on passengers' faces. As you keep walking, you can either go straight to a small breakwall or turn to continue the loop through a boat launch, and pass a fish cleaning station. You go up  a few blocks, and then are back to the marina. It doesn't take too long, and since I felt like being by the water, we took the narrow way that we had come from back to where we started. The sky was blue and grey with white puffs added here and there, and you could see the green gleam of the lighthouse, the faint lights of the carferry, and the silhouette of a sailboat outlined on the horizon. Upon noticing the sailboat, we decided to sit atop a few of the boulders and wait for it so we could watch it come into the harbor. It was steadily getting darker, and as I looked around I couldn't believe I had never witnessed the sight before. On one side you could see the lake, lighthouse, boats, and channel coming into the harbor, and on the other you could see the marina, the playground, the carferry docks, an the channel that leads to a few smaller marinas further inland. Everything was lit up. Lights glowed orange and yellow, dotted by a few white ones, and reflected off the dark glassy water like the sun does at high noon. I sat there with Caleb and Honey on a boulder, in a spot that was scarcely lit, and felt tiny amid all the lights. Everything gleamed around me, and the sky seemed to fade darker and darker shades of blue and grey. I felt so small, and everything looked so gorgeous.

After getting home and logging onto to Facebook to fill myself in on the latest happenings, I saw a friends pictures of East Michigan sunsets, and had memory after memory flow in. My mom loves sunsets, storms, and everything like them. If there was a gorgeous sunset or storm, we'd always go to the highest point of town, by the police station, and park to the side of the road on top of the hill. And just sit. It reminded me of those times. I saw a picture of a sunset over a cornfield and one from a woodline, and I thought of the countless times I'd witnessed sunsets just like them while out for a bike ride. I love sunsets over the lake, but I sure do miss sunsets over cornfields and woodlines. They bring back so many amazing memories.

That said, tonight has been filled with more memories, new and old. I have been blessed beyond measure with my experiences, all the while living in two small towns.. and I wouldn't change those experiences. Those marina lights in the dark made my day a little brighter, and brought back some great memories. It makes me all the more eager to visit my hometown this weekend for a family reunion.

Psalms

Lately I have been spending a lot of time with King David and my Jesus. In other words, I'm working my way through reading the Psalms. I have found some extremely fascinating and uplifting things. On a notecard, I have been keeping track of some of the themes I have noticed so far.

Here are just a few so far: Praising God - God's unfailing love - God's faithfulness - Standing in awe of God - Thanking God - God delivering us - God as our refuge and strength - Having an attitude of prayer - Crying out to God - Trusting God - God never being far away

What amazes me is David's attitude of prayer. From what I've read so far, He goes back and forth from pleading and crying out to God and praising Him. There's nothing in between.. He is always communicating in some way with his Creator. Sometimes I feel like we fail to spend time with God unless we're pleading and crying out to Him, because when everything is going alright we're ok. But what if everyone was to have this attitude of prayer? It makes me think of 1 Thessalonians 5:7, which says "pray without ceasing." In high school, my youth pastor described this as not praying 24/7, just having the attitude of prayer. You don't have to pray all day. It's more like keeping God close in your thoughts, actions, etc. Your prayers don't have to be long and super deep... a "God help me to love these people in my check out line that are driving me crazy" is sufficient, because you're relying on God and calling on Him. I think of it as simply being in close contact with Him throughout the day. What you think about colors your attitude, thoughts, actions, etc., so why not let what you're thinking about be something good.. like your Jesus? He longs for that. He wants us to focus on Him, and spend time with Him. He's a very jealous God, and yet showers us with blessings. David praised Him as the most amazing thing, which He really is. But what if we were to do that in our lives, just like David did?   I wonder how much we would grow, and how strong our relationship with Him would be.

Here's what I think would happen:

"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand" -Psalm 37:23-24

"The Lord helps [the righteous] and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in Him" -Psalm 37:40 (emphasis personally added)

The last part of verse forty sticks out to me. It just seems to bring to my attention that taking refuge in Him, is what God wants us to do. And when we do, we get showered in blessings.  Also, Isaiah 26:3 comes to mind, which says; "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." David was at peace, because His mind was stayed on God and he trusted Him. Can we say the same for ourselves?

I think having a mind stayed on Jesus and an attitude of prayer go hand in hand. What do you think?

Splashes of Color

Tonight we got together with some of our high school girls for some ice cream and chit chat but decided to call it a night as a few rain drops started falling. They soon stopped, but as I turned the corner for home I couldn't help be drawn to the sight in front of me; as one side of the sky was being overcome by dark rain clouds, the other side was splashed hot pink and orange. I passed the corner that would take me home and headed straight down the avenue toward the beach. The white lighthouse stood out like a monument against the sky that was quickly changing colors. As the rain clouds got darker, the hot pink and orange became deep red mixed with orange, light pink, and a soft yellow. None of the pictures I took on my phone could do the sight justice. I stood there for a moment thinking how beautiful this place is. People travel from all over just to be here for a weekend, and I get to live here. My house is two miles from the beach.. I started wondering how I had not grown up with these sights, but I then remembered waking up to the most beautiful sunbursts, visible across the fields, and I didn't even have to get out of bed to enjoy them. Yes, I was spoiled, and I still am, there is beauty all around me. There is beauty all around you too, you just may have to look harder to see, feel, or know it.

As I walked to my car, I let the wind take my hair as it whipped up and around my face. My light loose shirt was blowing like a blanket left on a clothesline through a storm, and I could feel the rain coming. The air hung heavy around me, and may have felt suffocating had it been ten degrees warmer. It wrapped around my skin like a warm blanket and reminded me how much I love summer nights. Some days I wish we had more than three months of summer here.

So I sit here now listening to the thunder and thinking how today was a wonderful end to a wonderful month. So much has happened and there is so much ahead for next month. I just finished up my first week of training at my new job. Yes, God provided yet again! We knew He would, it was just in His time. I was offered a position, and jumped at the opportunity. I love to be around people, and love to see many of them a day. It was originally on my radar since I started looking in April, but nothing came about until about two weeks ago. It has been a great first few days and I'm excited to see how it will continue to go.

We currently have family here from out of state also. They come once a summer and we always enjoy their time here. We saw them in January for our godson's baptism, and were excited to welcome them back when they arrived early Sunday morning. It will be good to get to spend some time with them again. Also, this weekend my grandparents are hopefully going to be here. We really hope they can make the trip, and are super excited to welcome them back to town. They came for our wedding last summer, so we would love for them to come again. We even have a house to show them this time ;) and it would be great to be able to spend some time with them.

Next on the radar is a family reunion. My moms side of the family is Hungarian, and is it ever huge! Thankfully we wear name tags, because I don't know who half the people at the reunions are (but seriously, who does know all the people at family reunions?!) Then there's a trip to Cedar Point with the youth group. I grew up going to CP every summer with my youth group, and its exciting to get to go with my sister now. I always promised we'd get to go together sometime, and now is our chance, so we're grabbing it :)  It will be a blast.

As for the rest of the month, one of my best friends is celebrating her 21st Birthday, and we'll see whatever else gets thrown at us. I feel like I'm forgetting something, but I usually do. I'll be back anyway.

Well I hope you have a great day/night, or whatever time it is where you are ;)

Forgiven

Today is an ordinary day. I came home from VBS, saw Caleb, grabbed some lunch and then sat down to finish up some reading for our Bible study tonight. Each week we've been pursuing God through His  Word, and have been reading a book titled the Christian Atheist, by Craig Groeschel, and discussing what we read. The book is different than any Christian writing I have ever read. It contains page after page of examples about how we say we believe in God, but live as if He doesn't exist. Live as if He doesn't exist... that includes thoughts, attitude, actions, lack of trust, and so much more. The chapter that I just finished is titled, "When You Believe in God but Won't Forgive."

You can imagine how I cringed when I saw the chapter heading. In the past eight months two separate men have hurt me. I'm not going to go into detail, but know this: I never would have expected to be hurt by either of these men, let alone the way I was hurt. I crushed, had a broken spirit, and no remaining trust for either of them. The trust will take a very very long time to regain, but I have forgiven them. I forgave one a long time ago, and the other recently. I struggled to find forgiveness. Each time something new happened, it made me hate the individual even more. It didn't help that I had to work with one of them, in a church, of all places. But I do believe that helped the healing process. What was our job? Ministry. We're taught to love our enemies, forgive each other, and pray for those who wrong us, and I desperately tried. I would come home most days in tears to a husband who continually encouraged me, despite his frustration with the same person. So when working with this person in ministry, it was hard. I tried to love him like Christ did, I tried to set aside the hurt, I tried and tried and tried. But I became bitter. In Groeschel's book, he wrote; "Love keeps no record of wrongs, but bitterness keeps detailed accounts," and as hard as I tried for it not to be true of me, it was. I tried to forgive, but it kept happening; I tried to move on, but the wounds kept being reopened; I tried to love him, but he kept hurting. I almost gave up my job. It was then that I finally decided to let God have it all.

The ongoing thoughts that he needed grace from me as much as I need grace from Christ kept me going. Hebrews 12:15 says, "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." I had been going about it all wrong. I had been trying to fix it myself, when I should've let God take control all along. In my desperation, I had neglected taking my broken self to the feet of the man who would never hurt me. After I did, things started looking up. No, I didn't trust him, but it was harder to hate him and easier to give him grace. That created a spiral effect upwards, and I started praying for him. I didn't want to, but I knew I needed to. At first the prayers were short and were about the both of us, but gradually shifted to be about him and his growth, life, safety, etc. I was amazed. Not only was it even harder to hate him, but I felt God changing me as well. I didn't want to like him, I didn't want anything to do with him. If he seemed to be walking towards me, I just seemed to casually have something else to do all of a sudden. But, I did forgive him, and it did take a while. God's grace is the only way I was able to though.

Groeschel told his own story of forgiving a man who molested his sister. He recalled being 'torn between wanting to obey God and wanting just as much to continue hating.' But he made the choice to forgive, he made the choice to obey Scripture. How often do we think of it that way? Some say all the time, others may not. We're told to forgive each other, because its the right thing to do. But Christians seem to hold each other to a higher standard. 'They should have known better,' or 'How can they make that mistake and claim to be 'in Christ?'' we may say. But here's the thing; we're human! We're growing, we're not perfect, and yes, we make mistakes. Christ died on the cross for our mistakes, before He even knew us. We're forgiven, and we're called to forgive. Whether we like it or not :)

All that to say, a little more healing was done today. I encourage you to read the Christian Atheist, even if you don't think you need to. There's something in there for everyone, whether it be a laugh, a cry, a profound life-changing realization, etc., it wouldn't do anyone harm to read it. My final thoughts for this post are the final sentences of the chapter on forgiveness;

"We Christian Atheists can rationalize as many excuses as we need to avoid forgiving. We Christians, however, can find in God the sheer strength to battle through the feelings of anger, hatred, and bitterness, and fight our way back to the cross. That's where Christ forgave us. And that's where, by faith, we can find the ability to forgive those who've wronged us."

Hard To Love

I've been procrastinating on writing this post for a long time. I just can't seem to find the right words to say. I know exactly what I want to say, but this is one of those times when I worry about how readers will read this post. Crazy? Not really. I know many people who have felt or feel the same way, and hey, we're only human.

Something I have been struggling with lately is loving in general. Yes, I love my husband, family, God, others, and (yes, I'll say it...) tourists. But sometimes showing it is completely different. I think its safe to say that we all have days when we just feel crummy, grumpy, or non social. In those days I've found it either incredibly hard to show not only kindness and love to people, but also Christ's love, or have just found myself apathetic. I do not want to live and apathetic life at all, but on those days I've found myself feeling worse about how I come across.

Upon feeling all those things, it really makes me think. If, as Christians, we are to reflect the love of Christ, why is it so darn hard? Of course I know the answer; because we're human, and have a sin nature. Becoming more like Christ is a journey, a process of growth that is always happening. I've come to the conclusion that loving is sometimes a very conscious choice; especially if we are choosing to reflect the love of Christ. Why? Because its not always easy..

Here's an example; how a couple treats each other. Those days when we feel crummy (well, any day really) it's a lot easier to snap at your partner than to be calm and patient. But, it can be so hard to take that breath and smile while you're calm and patient. Its engrained in us, the concept of self-gratification, leading us to want what we want, when we want it, and not always care about others in the process of obtaining it. It's hard to love when its includes serving, giving, and putting others first.

All in all, the thing I have found most profound in all my thoughts and days scouring the pages of my Bible, is that loving is a very conscious choice. It's stopping and thinking before acting and speaking that helps volumes. Remembering that we reflect the God of the universe, and the people we are around are made in Christ's image just like we are. They're human, and trying their best just like we are, so we need to give them a break. When we saw them last month in concert, Mike Donehey, lead singer of the band Tenth Avenue North, said something like this;

"Do you really love people? How do you forgive, what's your attitude? When you're around people and they hurt you, and you forgive them, whats your attitude? Friends, your attitude of forgiveness, and love; that is evidence if you have truly been changed by the love of Christ." 

And it still sticks out in my mind. I can tell you exactly where I was sitting, where he was standing, the weather, the crowd, etc.; the details of what was around me, when he spoke those words. It wasn't a guilt trip, it was a challenge to us. Do we really, consciously love? For me, it's sometimes hard, as I'm sure it is for others. But, to be honest with ourselves and our Maker, we want to love like He does. We want to reflect His love to those who may not know Him.

But the question is, will we?